Wherever I’m With You

We moved. More precisely, we bought a house and moved into it this past weekend. The house is a 134 years-old total gut rehab. Old house on the outside, totally new on the inside. When I daydreamed about our family’s next roost in St. Louis, my visions looked nothing like this house. I imagined something with … Continue reading

One

Today my daughter is a year old. This morning I nursed her sitting on the end of our family room’s sofa, the same place where I kneeled, as if in prayer, birthing her on this day last year. A solid year. How can this be? This room is probably my least favorite one in our home. It is … Continue reading

On the Playground

I both admire and boggle at my son’s ability to make friends on the playground. Every kid there, big or small, is a friend to be made, a fantastic someone he simply hasn’t yet met. The playground is an equal-opportunity friendship party, and the dude came to party. He will eagerly skip into a throng of grade schoolers … Continue reading

2013, In Seemingly Small Moments

I didn’t send out Christmas cards in 2012. In the shuffle of my year’s-end priorities–the holidays, Arlo’s birthday, home birth preparation–the ol’ holiday card got axed.  It was a relief to take a break, but I missed the ritual of addressing envelopes and writing personal notes, and I felt super schmucky receiving gorgeous, thoughtful cards … Continue reading

This is the New Year

Ah, the obligatory end-of-year post. The one filled with all the things I want squeeze with relish from the New Year. There is so much I want from 2014, and also, somehow at the same time, I want absolutely nothing from it. How does that make any sense? Successful new year’s resolutions are those that … Continue reading

Thanksgiving: So Much Past Inside My Present

You know how you can look at pictures of your child as a newborn and at once see him as both the brand new stranger he was in that moment and as the complete character you know so well right now? I remember looking at Arlo as a new little soul with so much wonder; I’d try to envision what he might … Continue reading

The Far, Dark Corners

I was laying in bed the other night when my phone lit up with a text message from one of my old grad school friends in Virginia. Hi there, friend. I hope that you are doing well. I thought about you today after leaving my fertility doc with a prescription for hormone injections. I remember … Continue reading

The Reminder

My son was perched patiently at the threshold of the Climatron at the botanical garden earlier this week, waiting for me as I made my way toward him in stuttered steps from across the room. Like a game of Toddler Frogger, he’d nimbly navigated the crowd and left me in the dust as I made … Continue reading

The Want Ads

Do people call them that anymore? Fuck if I know. I just perused the listings of a few medical social work positions, and that effort ended with me slipping my glasses off to massage my temples and rub away the tears gathering at the corners of my eyes.  I’m not ready or wanting to go … Continue reading